The turf at Akron Indoor Soccer might still be smoking after a Week 5 slate that saw more goals than a New Year’s resolutions list. The women of the Wednesday Night League brought the heat, with scorelines that made defensive coordinators everywhere wince. From nail-biting moments to lopsided thrillers, here’s how the night went down.
BB2 vs. GFS: “Double Digits, Single Direction”
Final Score: 3-10
In the early match, GFS came out with one mission: prove they’re better than their record. BB2, still searching for that elusive first win, hung tough in the opening minutes, even nabbing an early goal to ignite some sideline hope. But then, the GFS offensive machine kicked into gear, scoring at will and making BB2’s defenders look like they were chasing shadows.
With GFS racking up double digits, the only question left was whether BB2 could save some pride. They managed two consolation goals late in the match, but the damage was done. BB2 might be thinking about holding extra practices—or a team bonding pizza night.
Y-Town vs. MissFits: “Lucky 13 Meets Chaos Crew”
Final Score: 13-3
Y-Town entered this one determined to shake off last week’s disappointment, and boy, did they do it in style. Their offense came alive like a Black Friday shopper spotting a 90% off sale, firing in goals from all angles. Their star forward (let’s call her “Turbo”) was unstoppable, netting four goals before halftime.
The MissFits, known for their never-say-die spirit and wildly unpredictable tactics, managed to sneak in three goals of their own, including a bizarre sequence where the ball hit two posts, a defender, and someone’s shin before crossing the line. Despite the effort, their defense was overrun like a mall food court at lunchtime.
Y-Town walked away with their most emphatic win yet, while the MissFits… well, they’re probably just happy nobody got hurt.
Susserfuss – Vanilla vs. Fireballs 2.0: “Sweet Revenge with a Side of Chaos”
Final Score: 17-5
This game looked competitive for approximately three minutes before Vanilla decided to turn it into a shooting gallery. Methodical in their build-up and clinical in their finishing, Vanilla sliced through the Fireballs’ defense like a hot knife through, well, vanilla ice cream.
Fireballs 2.0 lived up to their fiery name early on, scoring a couple of quick goals to make things interesting. But as the game wore on, their defense fell apart faster than a poorly made gingerbread house. Vanilla’s midfield ran the show, orchestrating goal after goal in a relentless display of precision.
For Fireballs, it’s back to the drawing board—or maybe the goalkeeping clinic. For Vanilla, it was just another day at the office.
Buckeye Bullets vs. Susserfuss – Strawberry: “Berry Big Blowout”
Final Score: 3-12
The Buckeye Bullets, known for their high-energy style, came into this one brimming with confidence. Unfortunately for them, they ran into the buzzsaw that is Strawberry, whose offense was as smooth as their namesake dessert.
Strawberry’s forwards put on a clinic, scoring early and often, while their midfield ensured the Bullets barely saw the ball. By halftime, it was already 7-1, and the second half was more of the same. The Bullets did manage two second-half goals, thanks to some clever counterattacks, but it was far too little, too late.
Strawberry remains a force to be reckoned with, while the Bullets might be reconsidering their strategy—or at least their halftime snacks.
The Plastics vs. Sharp Shooters: “High Heels and Hat Tricks”
Final Score: 13-5
In the nightcap, The Plastics proved why they’re one of the league’s flashiest teams, dismantling the Sharp Shooters in a game that could best be described as “chaotically entertaining.” The Plastics came out in their usual style: flashy moves, plenty of swagger, and maybe one too many unnecessary backheels. But when it works, it works, and it worked in spades.
The Sharp Shooters put up a valiant fight, keeping things close early on, but their defense eventually crumbled under the relentless Plastics attack. With goals coming from almost everyone in pink, The Plastics turned this one into a highlight reel for their Instagram.
The Sharp Shooters left with heads held high—and a reminder that they might want to tighten up defensively before their next match.
Final Thoughts
Week 5 was a masterclass in offense and a tough week to be a goalkeeper. With goal after goal lighting up the scoreboard, fans got their money’s worth and then some. Whether you love a gritty underdog or a flashy powerhouse, this week delivered on all fronts.
As we look ahead to next week, one thing’s for sure: defenses across the league will need to step up, or we’re in for another wild ride.
Disclaimer: No plastics, strawberries, or vanilla were harmed in the making of these games. Fireballs, however, might be feeling a little burnt out.